"Hey Mec, how are you?? How's your day going??....I'm sorry I didn’t get back to you last night, things got a little hectic. By the time I got your message, it was a little late."
That's the bullshit ass email I got from C today at around 1:45pm explaining why he canceled our date. And did I reply? Hell to the nah. Ummm, I'm sorry C...you might not be a dollar short but you are definitely a day later. You clearly have me mistaken for a doormat; but the last time I checked, I'm not the one to be walked all over. I'm sorry people, but I am just fuming. He could have AT LEAST given me the courtesy of calling me (not emailing aka bailing) to tell me he was cancelling our date. I'm just not the one. I can't be bothered. I'm calling a spade a spade and walking away. But there is a bright side...better now than later.
With all I've been through I've definitely learned:
When people show you who they...believe them!
Monday, June 30, 2008
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Meccaloha!!! Vacay & other updates...
Hello people! Have you ever been in the intersection of "I'm so burnt out, I'm crispy..." and "If I have to go to work (or really anywhere for this matter) and look at these people one more day I might have to hurt someone?" Well, I have been wandering in that intersection for about a week now. Thankfully, tranquility and peace of mind are not too far away. For those of you who aren't aware, I am going to Hawaii (for the first time ever) on Wednesday morning, returning eight days later (if I decide to come back) on a wonderful vacay with my best friend from college, Anna. Not only is it awesome because I don't get to see Anna very often and we're totally gonna cut up like only we do, but this whole trip was made possible because Anna's dad lives there (lucky stiff), so accommodations are completely and totally F-R-E-E! We will be staying on the big island, with a quick pit stop in Maui. A fully stocked fridge of our favorite eats and beverages of all sorts, plus an itinerary that looks like, beach, eat, drink, beach, eat, drink, occasional activity (i.e. ATV rides and snorkeling), beach, eat and drink, I'm stoked!!!
I'm starting to pack tonight -- eek -- and I'm nervous as heck that I won't fit everything I want/need into my suitcase. I'm trying to think light and pack lots of sundresses and flip-flops. I'm using Katie over at La Petite Chic's suitcase from a recent trip as inspiration. If she can go to Europe for more than a week and have a suitcase that looks like it came out of Real Simple and less than 50 lbs., so can I. Or at least I can try. Have you looked at it? I mean, c'mon, it's a masterpiece! I guarantee if Katie and I lived in the same metropolitan area, we'd probably be great friends as our organization tactics are SO in-sync.
The last I wrote, I was mentioning how I had let go of Mr. Ex (betrayal is a straw that can definitely break the camel's back) and was thinking of going out on a date with a new guy, who I'll call C. Well, I did go out with C, and it was nice, however, it wasn't exactly how I thought it would be. Is it just me or do men not court women anymore? Keeping a long story short, I got a phone call at 8:30p on a Saturday (last Saturday, not yesterday) asking if I wanted to "hang out" that evening. Resolving to not be a stickler and give it a shot, I accepted. Since I was just finishing dinner, I told C I would call him when I made it home to discuss the plan. And a half hour later, I did just that. The conversation went something like:
Me: "Hey, I'm home! What's the plan? When and where shall we meet?"
C: "Uhhhh, I don't know. What do you want to do?"
Me: "Ummmm, it doesn't really matter, do you have any suggestions?"
C: "Uhhhh, not really...."
WTF? I was so f-ing annoyed. I mean, honestly...
First of all, you call me at 8:30pm on a Saturday night (basically the eleventh hour) asking if I want to hang out for that evening. We've never hung out before...so talk about a first impression. What happened to planning in advance? You just assume that I'm going to be available? Secondly, I happen to be available (even though I almost said "no, I'm not available" on principle alone) and accept to "hang out" with you, and call to find out the plan and you DON'T F-ING HAVE ONE. ARGH. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to sound like a diva or anything, because I'm not talking about caviar, expensive dinners, flowers and champagne. I don't care if we go bowling and sling back a few beers, but take some initiative, make a plan, and ask me on an honest, proper date! So, after being asked to "hang out" (I feel like I'm in f-ing 10th grade), I have to go on the computer and look up some cool things to do in a central location for both of us, tell him where it is and when to meet me. You ask me out, yet I do all the work. I just feel like at 27, I'm too old for this shit.
Still, trying to give it shot, because once I got there to meet C, we had a decent time (read: he's very nice, no butterflies whatsoever but I'll give him two more chances just to be fair), I invited him to see "Wanted" (new movie with Angelina Jolie and Morgan Freeman) this weekend. We agreed on Friday that Sunday evening worked best for both of us. I had my friend's son's first birthday party - which was more like a kick-ass free-for-all for all ages) this afternoon, but I told him I would call him when I was on my way home with movie times and theatre options. So I left the party (which can I just take a sec to tell you had a huge blow up water slide, a moon walk, a caged in trampoline, and pony ride for the kids AND a fully stocked bar of all premium liquors, catered bbq foods, volleyball set-up, horse-shoes, adult water attractions and a jacuzzi for the adults spread across their 13 acres of land in their "backyard") and called him with times. There were two times I thought would be good to see the movie: 6pm or 8pm. I mean, it's Sunday, and I do have work in the morning, so I didn't want to be out too late. Well, let me just tell you that it's 7:46pm and I have yet to get a phone call back telling me what time he preferred or at this point, that going to see the movie was off. That is just sooooooooooooo f-ing rude! What is WRONG with some guys these days? I don't want to go into the "being a single girl sucks" speech, but let me just tell you, dating is awful. Especially when you're dating because the man who you thought was the end all, be all, the man who you thought you would marry and start a family with bails on you for no good reason. And then after you do EVERYTHING in your power to get over the asshole, he comes back into your life, only to drag you back into the shit-hole you spent a year and half trying to get out of, only to pull the same shit he did back in January of 07. It's like a child with a toy. He is so excited to get the toy and play with it...for a while. Then he tosses the toy to the side UNTIL someone else wants to play with the toy. Then all of a sudden, he wants to play with the toy. He has that horrible syndrome; you know? The "have-his-cake-and-eat-it-too" syndrome. So I'm forced to "keep an open mind" and be on the scene...which I haven't had much luck in. At this point, I don't even know what to say to C, when/if he calls. Do I even bother?
Well, I'll look at the bright side of things...I'm not at the movies, so I finally had time to write and say hello! :) Besides, Wedding Crashers is on TBS, so I'll watch that and start packing...
I'm starting to pack tonight -- eek -- and I'm nervous as heck that I won't fit everything I want/need into my suitcase. I'm trying to think light and pack lots of sundresses and flip-flops. I'm using Katie over at La Petite Chic's suitcase from a recent trip as inspiration. If she can go to Europe for more than a week and have a suitcase that looks like it came out of Real Simple and less than 50 lbs., so can I. Or at least I can try. Have you looked at it? I mean, c'mon, it's a masterpiece! I guarantee if Katie and I lived in the same metropolitan area, we'd probably be great friends as our organization tactics are SO in-sync.
The last I wrote, I was mentioning how I had let go of Mr. Ex (betrayal is a straw that can definitely break the camel's back) and was thinking of going out on a date with a new guy, who I'll call C. Well, I did go out with C, and it was nice, however, it wasn't exactly how I thought it would be. Is it just me or do men not court women anymore? Keeping a long story short, I got a phone call at 8:30p on a Saturday (last Saturday, not yesterday) asking if I wanted to "hang out" that evening. Resolving to not be a stickler and give it a shot, I accepted. Since I was just finishing dinner, I told C I would call him when I made it home to discuss the plan. And a half hour later, I did just that. The conversation went something like:
Me: "Hey, I'm home! What's the plan? When and where shall we meet?"
C: "Uhhhh, I don't know. What do you want to do?"
Me: "Ummmm, it doesn't really matter, do you have any suggestions?"
C: "Uhhhh, not really...."
WTF? I was so f-ing annoyed. I mean, honestly...
First of all, you call me at 8:30pm on a Saturday night (basically the eleventh hour) asking if I want to hang out for that evening. We've never hung out before...so talk about a first impression. What happened to planning in advance? You just assume that I'm going to be available? Secondly, I happen to be available (even though I almost said "no, I'm not available" on principle alone) and accept to "hang out" with you, and call to find out the plan and you DON'T F-ING HAVE ONE. ARGH. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to sound like a diva or anything, because I'm not talking about caviar, expensive dinners, flowers and champagne. I don't care if we go bowling and sling back a few beers, but take some initiative, make a plan, and ask me on an honest, proper date! So, after being asked to "hang out" (I feel like I'm in f-ing 10th grade), I have to go on the computer and look up some cool things to do in a central location for both of us, tell him where it is and when to meet me. You ask me out, yet I do all the work. I just feel like at 27, I'm too old for this shit.
Still, trying to give it shot, because once I got there to meet C, we had a decent time (read: he's very nice, no butterflies whatsoever but I'll give him two more chances just to be fair), I invited him to see "Wanted" (new movie with Angelina Jolie and Morgan Freeman) this weekend. We agreed on Friday that Sunday evening worked best for both of us. I had my friend's son's first birthday party - which was more like a kick-ass free-for-all for all ages) this afternoon, but I told him I would call him when I was on my way home with movie times and theatre options. So I left the party (which can I just take a sec to tell you had a huge blow up water slide, a moon walk, a caged in trampoline, and pony ride for the kids AND a fully stocked bar of all premium liquors, catered bbq foods, volleyball set-up, horse-shoes, adult water attractions and a jacuzzi for the adults spread across their 13 acres of land in their "backyard") and called him with times. There were two times I thought would be good to see the movie: 6pm or 8pm. I mean, it's Sunday, and I do have work in the morning, so I didn't want to be out too late. Well, let me just tell you that it's 7:46pm and I have yet to get a phone call back telling me what time he preferred or at this point, that going to see the movie was off. That is just sooooooooooooo f-ing rude! What is WRONG with some guys these days? I don't want to go into the "being a single girl sucks" speech, but let me just tell you, dating is awful. Especially when you're dating because the man who you thought was the end all, be all, the man who you thought you would marry and start a family with bails on you for no good reason. And then after you do EVERYTHING in your power to get over the asshole, he comes back into your life, only to drag you back into the shit-hole you spent a year and half trying to get out of, only to pull the same shit he did back in January of 07. It's like a child with a toy. He is so excited to get the toy and play with it...for a while. Then he tosses the toy to the side UNTIL someone else wants to play with the toy. Then all of a sudden, he wants to play with the toy. He has that horrible syndrome; you know? The "have-his-cake-and-eat-it-too" syndrome. So I'm forced to "keep an open mind" and be on the scene...which I haven't had much luck in. At this point, I don't even know what to say to C, when/if he calls. Do I even bother?
Well, I'll look at the bright side of things...I'm not at the movies, so I finally had time to write and say hello! :) Besides, Wedding Crashers is on TBS, so I'll watch that and start packing...
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Feeling good...
The last few days I felt like crap. I mean, absolute crap. Migraine, stomach bug, huddled in bed, ready to just die. I don't know what the heck was out there, but I am thrilled that it's peaced out and moved on. Now my physical state matches my mental state which is great.
For the last two months, I was dating my ex. The one who broke my heart to a gagillion pieces and then road over those pieces with a tractor trailer and then scrambled to find the pieces and throw them in a river with an anchor on them, to never ever surface again. Lucky him, got a second chance to come back into my life. And oh how quickly that has come and gone. Thank goodness I proceeded with caution.
About 2.5 months ago, we began speaking. He said and did everything right. He was starting to earn the forgiveness of my friends, family, and most importantly, me, who to be quite honest, thought he should rot in hell for hurting me to begin with. Soon after, like I knew he would, he started becoming distant. Distant and cold. The sweet little text messages stop chirping in, the friendly yet flirty emails stopped trickling in my inbox, the calls stopped coming in. I found myself putting in all my effort and getting nothing in return. And then I got, "I love you. I want to marry you. But I already broke your heart once before and if I'm going to come back into your life in that way I want to make sure I'm 100%. I need to focus on getting X, Y and Z in order before I could commit myself..." Excuses. Always excuses. And while I respected what he had to say, it was exactly what he said the first time AND completely contradictory to what he said at the end of March when he was trying to ease his way back into my life. Felt like I was right back where I left off when I cut him out of my life the first time. It was the intersection of Lonely Road and Heartbroken Lane and I was not going back. So, as painful as it may be, I cut him lose; again.
A near and dear friend said the following and I couldn't have put it any better myself...
It definitely seems like he is trying to have the best of both worlds. And- if he truly loves you, he wouldn't put you thru all this. I can totally understand that whole fear of commitment, but don't mess with someone's emotions. I agree, you should definitely leave him alone. You're going to be happy with your own family. You'll have a husband that loves you and he will still be searching for Mrs. Right. Little did he know, he found her {more than once} and let her go.
And while it hurt like hell, this time it is a little different than the first time I cut him out. For some reason, I feel like I got the closure I really needed. I realized, I can't change him but I can change me. I can control how I act, and what I allow him to get away with. And poof, I'm done. And no, he hasn't quite gotten it yet. He says he "cherishes our friendship" and wants me to be apart of his life. Yea, whatevs. He can keep calling...and keep talking to my voicemail. I believe in second chances, but third and forth? Uh, no!
In other news, I met a new gentleman last month who is very interested in taking me out...and this girl just might let him. I had been putting him off while I was focusing on Ex and now that I realize Ex is Ex for a reason, I feel like I can actually go out on a date and have an open mind. I'll keep you updated...
For the last two months, I was dating my ex. The one who broke my heart to a gagillion pieces and then road over those pieces with a tractor trailer and then scrambled to find the pieces and throw them in a river with an anchor on them, to never ever surface again. Lucky him, got a second chance to come back into my life. And oh how quickly that has come and gone. Thank goodness I proceeded with caution.
About 2.5 months ago, we began speaking. He said and did everything right. He was starting to earn the forgiveness of my friends, family, and most importantly, me, who to be quite honest, thought he should rot in hell for hurting me to begin with. Soon after, like I knew he would, he started becoming distant. Distant and cold. The sweet little text messages stop chirping in, the friendly yet flirty emails stopped trickling in my inbox, the calls stopped coming in. I found myself putting in all my effort and getting nothing in return. And then I got, "I love you. I want to marry you. But I already broke your heart once before and if I'm going to come back into your life in that way I want to make sure I'm 100%. I need to focus on getting X, Y and Z in order before I could commit myself..." Excuses. Always excuses. And while I respected what he had to say, it was exactly what he said the first time AND completely contradictory to what he said at the end of March when he was trying to ease his way back into my life. Felt like I was right back where I left off when I cut him out of my life the first time. It was the intersection of Lonely Road and Heartbroken Lane and I was not going back. So, as painful as it may be, I cut him lose; again.
A near and dear friend said the following and I couldn't have put it any better myself...
It definitely seems like he is trying to have the best of both worlds. And- if he truly loves you, he wouldn't put you thru all this. I can totally understand that whole fear of commitment, but don't mess with someone's emotions. I agree, you should definitely leave him alone. You're going to be happy with your own family. You'll have a husband that loves you and he will still be searching for Mrs. Right. Little did he know, he found her {more than once} and let her go.
And while it hurt like hell, this time it is a little different than the first time I cut him out. For some reason, I feel like I got the closure I really needed. I realized, I can't change him but I can change me. I can control how I act, and what I allow him to get away with. And poof, I'm done. And no, he hasn't quite gotten it yet. He says he "cherishes our friendship" and wants me to be apart of his life. Yea, whatevs. He can keep calling...and keep talking to my voicemail. I believe in second chances, but third and forth? Uh, no!
In other news, I met a new gentleman last month who is very interested in taking me out...and this girl just might let him. I had been putting him off while I was focusing on Ex and now that I realize Ex is Ex for a reason, I feel like I can actually go out on a date and have an open mind. I'll keep you updated...
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Happy Father's Day
Happy Father's Day to the best man in my life. My Dad. My Dad has to be one of the coolest cats I know. He's warm and caring, kind and sincere. He's very proud of me; as I am of him for all of his wonderful accomplishments.
So here's to you "Papa Frita". I love you.
(And here's to all the other wonderful dads out there...)
So here's to you "Papa Frita". I love you.
(And here's to all the other wonderful dads out there...)
Monday, June 2, 2008
Hello There!
So I turned 27 in early April and became to fly to blog. NOT! But I know that's what some of you probably think. Despite the fact that I turned 27 and eased up on my blogging, my life has become a complete and total catastrophic, busy, whatever of a whatever. I love my life; don't get me wrong. But I do despise that overwhelmed, anxious pit in my stomach like I am forgetting something important or that I suck at life because everything that I love, admire and that is important to me is falling by the waist-side.
Work is still kicking my high-tail. Meetings and conference calls and everything in between. I am desperately in need of a vacay and counting down the days until I make it to Hawaii. Only thirty at this point and coming quickly. Thank goodness.
Relationship-wise, I am maintaining and hanging in. I'm still "dating" my ex, which is a joke in itself and I am also keeping my options open and "dating" someone new as well. It's funny because I am not a dater. I don't even know what it means to date. I am either in a relationship or not.
But - I'll have to leave my dating tales for another day. I'm exhausted and one of my boys (the new one) had just called.
Please take me back people. I still love ya all!
Work is still kicking my high-tail. Meetings and conference calls and everything in between. I am desperately in need of a vacay and counting down the days until I make it to Hawaii. Only thirty at this point and coming quickly. Thank goodness.
Relationship-wise, I am maintaining and hanging in. I'm still "dating" my ex, which is a joke in itself and I am also keeping my options open and "dating" someone new as well. It's funny because I am not a dater. I don't even know what it means to date. I am either in a relationship or not.
But - I'll have to leave my dating tales for another day. I'm exhausted and one of my boys (the new one) had just called.
Please take me back people. I still love ya all!
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