My maternal instincts...

I was "blessed" enough to attend a 1 year old's birthday party last week. The only "real" reason I was there was to support my friend Lina through a bunch of screaming rowdy children. Don't get me wrong people; I absolutely love children (especially the birthday boy, baby David) however, I knew this one party would consist of rowdy, mischevious little boys between the ages of 1-6 and I had to mentally prepare myself for it. In any case, my friend Amy, who just had a baby three days before Christmas brought her best Christmas gift of all with her: her new daughter Isabella (or baby Izzy as I like to call her). I don't know if it's because she was the only "lil princess" there or because she was the smallest; but I just fell in love. Not that I wasn't already. I fell in love with her during her first 24 hours on earth, but this time we got some good face time and I enjoyed being with her. She's an excellent baby and didn't cry one bit. Not even when Clarence, a friend of the group, but a (big macho football player) GUY, nonetheless, held her, rocked her, sang to her and even made her stand on her lil tippy toes and "dance". It's just so funny because I don't have children, but as soon as you get around a child, the instincts just naturally appear. I could have held her all day long. The second picture is me afterwards, proud of my maternal efforts. Some day...a long time from now...maybe it'll be my own.

I did it!!

I finally did it. I REACHED MY GOAL WEIGHT! Ok. My friends and family have been on this weight loss journey with me and I am happy to report after almost 2 long years, I have lost a total of 32 lbs. and am now pretty much back to "normal". I feel confident and most importantly, comfortable in my own skin again. :)

Before - April of 2006

After - February of 2008

Here's the journey along the way.

October of 2006 - Me and my "homeslice" R. (Of course, my girlfriend R in the picture always looks great!)

I was down about 10lbs from my heaviest (April) and I had just started Weight Watchers with my best Sin. We only lasted until about December, but we kept the learnings and the money in our pockets.

February of 2007 - me with Mel (my childhood friend and a modern day Pocahontas).

About 15 lbs down from the beginning, although you can still see it in my face an arms.

June of 2007 with Sin, K and much shorter hair (ahhhh). I was down about 22 lbs. I also started going to the gym more regularly, so although I wasn't losing very quickly, I was toning and firming and becoming stronger overall.

@ Dewey Beach (sooo tan, I love it) August of 2007. F---!!!! I hit the Plateau of the century.

Didn't I tell you I hit the plateau of the century? Probably only another 1 or 2 down if that. This was November and December of 2007. Holidays. Always a killer, but I did my best and was at least able to maintain my weight.

Hard work pays off! Finally lost that final 8 lbs in January and early February. I feel great. I'm stronger and have more endurance. I actually enjoy working out and I have a new lease on life.

Now it's called: "MAINTENANCE". But I finally did it. :)

(Thanks to my friends and family who listened to me, offered encouragement and who supported me the entire way through. I love you all).

Pepe Le Pew...

WTF is wrong with me and my luck these days?

After an exhausting week and weekend, I wanted nothing more than to get a little face time with my pillow and blankets; yes plural since it's mighty cold these days. So anyway, I'm getting my sleep groove on, deep into my REM when suddenly I am awakened by a G-O-D AWFUL STENCH.

Now, my bedroom windows are worth shit, are not air tight and have let in everything from cold air to hot air, my neighbor's exhaust from the cars, my neighbor's loud mouths (in a drunken stupor at 2am), etc. through them, but this time, I almost lost it. Literally, almost vomited. A fucking skunk. That's right people, Pepe-Le-Fucking-Pew himself, was messing around outside and set it OFF. You would have thought the little fucker was hiding under my bed or something. I don't know when it happened, but what I do know is that at 4am, I was forced to build a blanket cave so that I could 1) attempt to go back to sleep and 2) breathe. Wasn't happening. I sealed my blanket cave so tight, I almost suffocated and was forced to breathe through my mouth, not my nose, which means when/if I did fall back asleep, I probably swallowed a spider or two. I did attempt to take it to the living room BUT it was worse out there (and much colder). I ended up crying at 6am, because tired ole me kept having visions that my clothes, which were drying on my drying rack (from being washed the night before) were going to smell like Pepe.

Needless to say, I made it to work SUPER early this morning.

If I could tell him anything...

I would say:

You know you want to...it's all you can think about; that you made a mistake.
A BIG MISTAKE.
You're sorry, maybe not for walking away because that's what you "had to do", but for hurting me and all you want to do is let it be known. So stop letting your ego get the best of you. Put your foolish, childish pride aside and make well with the world. C'mon.
You know you want to...It's all you can think about.

A tad stressed...

...which means Mecca will sleep like sh*t tonight. Basically. I just strolled in from work after the another long drawn out day of meetings upon meetings, emails upon emails and phone calls upon phone calls. Don't get me wrong. I absolutely love my job and I'm blessed to have it BUT I work my tail off and I don't know that I always get the appreciation or the recognition I deserve. Lately, it's been weighing on me, because I've become this work-a-holic, Treo carrying, late night and early morning email checking fool, while other important things in my life slack...or are slowing starting to slack.

Tomorrow, I've got to take my car into the body shop at 7:30, where the rental car will meet me at 7:45 and then rush the rental to the local train station where I have to hop an 8:30 train into NYC to make a 10am meeting. After the meeting, I'll come home and work like the work horse I have slowly become, because I will be out of the office on Friday to attend my stepmother's mother's funeral. Would you believe I was actually relieved I would be only missing ONE day of work instead of two which I originally thought was the case? How f-ed up is that?

Then, it's supposed to snow on Friday, so who knows how the services and funeral will actually go.

One other thing I'm stressing about waaay in advance is the fact that, my bestie is coming into town (yippee) from the Chi (in a few weeks) and that means, Mecca has GOT to get this room in order. As we all know, space is limited up in this piece and I don't want my A feeling like she is sitting on top of herself, so it is my mission, to clean & organize. Any suggestion of ways to make/create more space in tiny living environments? I'm dying here.

Danke.

A little bit of this, a little bit of that

Some of you have read, one of my best friends is getting married and she asked me to be her MOH. Well, tonight, Sin, her FI and I went to a tasting at the reception site and it was fantastic! It was a showcase really, of the food, the desserts, and some of the facility's selected vendors. My oh my...so much to take it, but the food was great. I could go to tasting everyday. Yum. :)

Rise Above.

"A person can only rise so high. Now I'm rising above, but there's a ceiling and I'm about to hit it." -- Grey's Anatomy

After the whole check bouncing incident, I thought things couldn't have gotten much worse but I was wrong. This weekend, ups and downs, proved me wrong. Things in fact could get worse, but I of course, could rise above. After a long week, I decided to call in reinforcement (meaning: two of my bests) to meet me at the nail salon for much needed manis and pedis [up]. The salon got new massage chairs for the pedicures, which made my much needed trip even more worthwhile. After pedis, Sin and I headed to eat, drink and be merry. On the way grub, my old roomie, L called me and told me she had an ex sighting. I should have known at that point, it the weekend would be hairy. Now, although the ex and I are from the same area, I have been fortunate enough to not see him, since I chose to stop speaking to him last June (5 whole months after the break-up and torturing myself wishing and hoping we would get back together). In that timeframe, not one of my friends has seen him either. It's as if, he, me, us, simply disappeared, never existed. So anyway, she told me she had a sighting and they spoke cordially. Cool, whatever, moving on.

Saturday rolls around and on the way home from a fabulous trip to the hair salon [up] my Dad called me and told me my step mother's mother (his mother-in-law, my step-grandmother) passed away that afternoon. I wasn't extremely close with her and didn't know her very well (she lived far away), but I still felt awful for my stepmom. She was older and sick, so it wasn't a total shock, but still sucks nonethless [down]. Feeling bad for the situation, but refusing to feel defeated, I went shopping for a little retail therapy, where I found the cutest sweater and even better a pair of jeans for $4.99 [up]. Good jeans from Banana Republic which went on sale. $4.99. Can you even believe? I then continue with my day, running to a birthday party for my friend's son (he turned 1) and then off to watch a movie (Why did I get Married?) with my lovely mother [up]. After watching a movie, I run home, change really quickly and meet up with a group of girls to head out for a night on the town. A big party town about 30 minutes away. Enter the bar, order my signature drink (vodka & club soda with a lime), when I am greeted with a BOMB. Ex is in the building. CODE RED!! My dodging bullets for the last eight months in my own friggin' home town just ended in a huge party town, with 800 other bars, 30 minutes away [down]. My first reaction was to run, but then I had to quickly put myself in check, because: 1) I had just as much a right to be in that bar as him 2) I'm over it and him, so why am I ready and willing to run? I wasn't gonna run. I was gonna do my thing and whatever happened, happened.

Wanna know what happened? Mecca had a few vodka sodas, felt very nice and danced the night away. I had a fabulous time and didn't care that he was there. The only thing that sucked was that at one point in the night he purposefully looked me right in my face, and turned and ran for the bar [down]. He's a punk. A weasel. I mean, I would have been cordial. But he chose to be an a-hole, so I decided to keep it moving and try to forget it. It did hurt my feelings, because this wasn't some random relationship, this guy was who I thought was "the one". So the fact that couldn't even look at me, hurt. But I knew I did nothing wrong. I didn't break up with me. I didn't walk away. He did. He has to work through whatever he going through. I can't change that. All I can do is move on. The night ended with a trip to my favorite diner [up]. What could be better?

Sunday, I was on my way to the mall, stopped at a light, minding my business, when BAM! F-ing a-hole whacks me from behind out of nowhere [major down]. I mean, hello? Does anyone pay attention on the road anymore? The good thing is, I am fine (went to the ER and just sore and a bit stiff) and Kira (my car) doesn't have any major cosmetic damage. I am going to drop her off on Thursday though and getting a rental car just to make sure everything is ok. And it wasn't my fault.

Yesterday I had off, although I ended up working at night for a major project that someone had to do and that someone just had to be me [down]. (No one else would do it on their day off). I got home late from work, woke up exhausted, and was greeted at work with a long laundry list of issues with a project I'm working on from legal. I bust into tears. (Literally, this is before it was even 9:30).

I'm so frustrated because I'm trying. Working my tail off and it seems for every one good thing, I get two bad. As the quote up top reads...I'm rising but I'm sooooo about to hit the ceiling.

Can a girl catch a break?

Numero Uno

Yay for lil beagles all over the world. Uno is the top dog. Is he not the most handsome little thing?


Look at that strut....

Oogy love

So Oprah had a Valentine's Day special and I was thrilled I caught it. I got to learn about Oogy. I fell in love. Everytime I hear a story or see another cutie dog, it makes me even more anxious for the day I adopt my own sweet pup. Here's the story from Oprah.com.

Love comes in many different packages—even in the form of a loveable pet! For Larry and his family, love came in the form of a dog named Oogy. "Everyone who sees him loves him," Larry says. "You'd never know it from his background, but he's overcome tremendous adversity to get here."When he was just a puppy, Larry says Oogy was living in a hell on earth. He was tied to a stake and used as bait for pit bulls in a dogfighting ring. "He'd been thrown in a cage and left to die, and the police raided the facility," Larry says. "He was brought to Ardmore Animal Hospital, and they saved him."Dr. Bianco, a veterinarian, says Oogy was still a puppy when he first treated the dog's severe damage. "He basically had the side of his face ripped off, his jaw was crushed, his skull was damaged," he says. "He's lucky to be alive."Larry and his twin boys were at the vet to drop off their cat when Oogy walked down the hall…and right into their hearts. "He looked like part of him had melted," Larry says. "But he just covered us with kisses. It's like he didn't know that anything bad had happened to him—he was just full of love. He jumped in our arms."When Larry found out the dog didn't belong to anyone, he asked Dr. Bianco if he could adopt him. "I couldn't believe my good luck," Larry says. "That's how I felt about this dog right from the start."

Oogy was given a loving home, but he still had an agonizing road to recovery. A second major surgery was necessary to rebuild Oogy's face and put an end to his chronic pain. "I think that every day my family tries to atone for what happened to Oogy. He's been through the worst imaginable horrors, and we feel very lucky because of what he gives back to us—an immeasurable amount of devotion and love."Larry's twin sons, Noah and Dan, have something special in common with Oogy—they were also adopted. " I'm sure when our parents adopted us, I hope it was one of the greatest days of their lives. And I know in my life, my experience when we adopted [Oogy], it was one of the greatest days of my life," Dan says."I think that Oogy symbolizes to people the indomitable survivor that they see in themselves," Larry says. "And that there is love on the other side of adversity."

In order to get to Chicago, Larry drove 15 hours with Oogy so he wouldn't be confined in a crate inside an airplane. "Oogy associates being in a crate with having his ear torn off, and I could not afford to have him endure that," Larry says.The Levin family says he might not be the prettiest dog, but Oogy's brought them more love than they could ever imagine. At first, however, Larry's wife, Jennifer says she was reluctant to bring the dog home. "I was really scared that he would bite, and he had a history of abuse, so I was afraid he would be violent," she says. After hearing Dr. Bianco attest to his good nature, Jennifer allowed Oogy into their home, and he's been a beloved family member ever since.Noah and Dan say Oogy has changed their lives in many different ways. "You don't think you can love just in that way until you meet a dog like Oogy," Noah says.Although Noah and Dan will be off to college soon, Larry plans to make sure Oogy still gets plenty of attention. "One of the things I want to do for Oogy is train him to work with kids and take him to kid's hospitals, because I think he'll be an inspiration to young kids who are facing a lot of adversity," Larry says.

I love OOGY! Oprah now has info on her website about how to adopt dogs in need. Check it out.

Love thy neighbor?

The first thing I must tell you about is how mean people stink. I believe back in November I mentioned that I was attacked by my neighbor’s dog. If you didn’t catch that story, here’s a brief synopsis:

(setting: my three story building lobby area)

It’s the Saturday after Thanksgiving and I’m walking down the stairs to walk out the door and hop in car to get a second helping of Turkey Day grub at my surrogate mother’s house (which is my friend Kristin’s mom, Cookie*). So there I am, in the lobby of my building, and I open the door to walk outside and here comes Attacker dog (who’s name I don’t know), busting through the door and I move a little to the left to let him pass me hoping he would just run up the stairs. Where is the owner/walker of the dog? Well, she’s still outside around the corner, because she had Attacker on a retractable leash. MEANING: He MIGHT as well have been on his own. Unfortunately for me, Attacker does not just run up the stairs…he decides to make my leg his new chew toy. So there I am in my lobby screaming bloody murder, when the walker of the dog, finally runs into the lobby and grabs the dog. I’m crying, in severe pain, and at this point, just want the thing away from me, so I run outside and into my car where I broke down. I turned on the car to heat it up (since it was chilly outside) and I’m just crying, in total shock, not knowing what to do. I finally pull up my jean pant leg and see he definitely broke the skin, its scraped and scratched up and finally, it hurts like hell. The dog’s owner comes running out and to my car, and knocks on my window, and doesn’t apologize. No, that would be the right thing to do. She basically says, her sister was walking the dog and that she tries to tell her family to learn to keep a better hold on Attacker. She then says, “Well, let me know if you go to the doctor or something”, and proceeds back in the building. WTF? I just got attacked by your little beast and I felt as if she had an attitude or was treating me as if I had done something wrong. Anyway, I do eventually go to the ER within the hour, with Sin and Erin (Kristin’s sister) in tow for moral support, to get cleaned up and a nice shot (in case Attacker wasn’t up to date on his shots). The next day, I leave a note on neighbor lady’s door and ask her to call me, which she does, and I tell her I went to the ER, and I would like for her to take care of any expenses associated with the bill from that visit. She agrees. She also told me she will get a muzzle for him when they walk him so I don’t have to be afraid.

Since I have to live in the same building as her, I wanted to handle things as amicably as possible, so therefore stupid me did not file a police report, nor did I call animal control, or even write the condo association where I live. I love dogs and felt bad too about calling animal control as I wouldn’t want anything happening to Attacker, even though he is a VERY aggressive dog. All I wanted was the bill paid.

So fast forward to today, Feb 16 and this is where we are. In early January, I finally received the hospital bill. I proceeded to make a copy for her and asked her to pay within two weeks. THREE WEEKS later she finally comes to my door (Feb 1) after I had a run in with the dog as I walking up the stairs to my door (her daughter was heading down the stairs and I was heading up and he started growling and scratching [NO MUZZLE] to get to me and she quickly had to pull him back into their house), and she hands me a check for the full amount. The next day while running errands, I put the check in the bank. Well, lo and behold, the next week, I’m doing some online banking and discover THE CHECKED BOUNCED! WTF? First you pay me late, then you give me a bad check? So now I’m in bitch mode. I tried to be nice and this is the slap in the face I get. Not to mention, I didn’t charge her for my antibiotics I had to take because of the bite and I now have a scar on the calf of my right leg, which I will be going to the dermatologist to try minimize, and she won’t be paying for that either! So why? In addition to her check bouncing and my bank charging me a fee, my local gym membership check bounced, because I didn’t have enough money in my account when it tried to clear because of her bounced check. So now, she owes me the original amount + the check return fee my bank charged + a NSF fee (since my gym check bounced) + the fee my gym charges for returned checks. How terrible is that?

So now, I’ve written her a letter and sent it certified mail, listing all she owes me and giving her 10 days (from the time I get the receipt that the letter was signed for) to pay me in cash, cashier’s check or money order OR I will be contacting an attorney and taking her to court. I also am writing a letter at least to the condo association making them aware of the incident in the hopes that they might in force her to at least ensure the safety of its tenants, by asking her to get a new non-retractable leash and a muzzle for the dog while walking it.

It breaks my heart that it has gotten to this point. I hate feeling uncomfortable in my own building but this is ridiculous. She is responsible and needs to step it up.

I’ll keep you updated on the whether or not I’m going to the bank or going to court…

*She is so aptly named since Cookie (who does have a real name, but I won’t divulge) has got to be one of the sweetest ladies ever. Whenever she meets a child, she extends her hand and says, “Hi. My name is Cookie, but you can’t eat me”. I think this is absolutely adorable/hysterical and kids just LOVE her. Well count me in.

Dusting the cob webs off the blog

My, my, my, I have so much to tell you all. Since I don’t want to lose you with a LONG post with all the “going-ons” over the past couple of weeks, I’ll just do separate posts.